Dear Diary.
So reading thought the selective pages I've chosen to publish i realised that i'd painted a pretty painful image of my life as a teen. It wasn't all bad. Some people were nice to me, and impacted on my school experience in ways they probably didn't even realise. There was one name that cropped up quite a lot when flicked through my second diary. So I thought i'd skip ahead for this post so you know it wasn't all bad. I didn't see this kid a lot. It was the odd class or passing in the halls. But he was 'popular' and nice to me. He didn't dare his friends to ask me out and then laugh when i said yes. He didn't ask me if i would 'sharpen his pencil' knowing full well I didn't know what it meant, and he didn't flick things into me hair without me knowing when he was sat behind me. He was just nice. I've stitched together a few different bit from a few different pages for the purpose of this post, because, like a said, we weren't 'friends' as such.
Week one. Moving seats.
Today was the best and worse day of my life. school was boring and unproductive as per ues (i think this is meant to be short for usual but i'm not really sure) but something did happen that i need to tell you about. So basically after break we went to class and two of the boys were talking the entire time so as punishment for them I had to sit between them to keep them quiet! WHYYY ME. I'm sure the teacher hates but but i've got no clue why. but yeh anyway obviously everyone laughed when we had to swap seats but L just sat there. When the teacher carried on he told me that she was a B****. (Yes i actually drew the stars, yes i was too scared to swear in my diary). L is one of the 'popular' boys and we've never really spoke before but i guess no we have to. His arms broken and after we'd been working for a while he took my pink hi lighter and started drawing over it. When i smiles and laughed he asked me if i wanted to sign it too. I FROZE. PLAY IT COOL. I don't know why this scared me so much but the thought of the other boys seeing my name on his cast just.. maybe they'd tease me? i don't know i just didn't want to, but i also didn't want to say no because i mean well. He's L? I'd always just assumed he was a twonk like the boys he hangs round with but now i think back he's never done anything to me, or even spoke to me. So yeh anyway he was just sat there holding a highlighter towards me with this dull glaze across his face. So i just wrote a really pretty J. That way nobody would even know it was me except him. Plus there wasn't much room on there anyway, probably because he's so popular. I think He's popular because he straightens his hair. Or at least that must help because all the popular girls straighten there hair? and most of the boys do to?
But yeh. Like I don't want this to sound like I fancy him, because I don't. It's just nice to know that not all the boys are idiots.
Week two. Core tasks and day dreams.
We started working on our core task today and I'm still sat next L. He never really pays attention when miss is talking because from our seats you can see the sports field and he spends all the time watching people play rounders. So when we had to get on with our work I basically had to tell him everything. But it's kind of nice because it actually gives me something to talk to him about. Im rubbish at making convocation otherwise. The only think I could think of to say was how neat his hand writing was its really girly and tiny but in a nice way. He took a tiny piece of paper and told me to write down my MSN address so i did but he hasn't added me yet. I hope he does. I bought new spray when i went to boots last week and it smells like strawberries. I went to the toilets before class and covered myself in it and the FIRST thing he said was that he could smell strawberries so i showed him my spray and he actually sprayed some on himself. He doesn't just talk to me because he's got to sit by me i think he actually doesn't mind.
Still week two. The MSN add.
IT happened. L added me on MSN. AHH. We have been talking all night about school and friends and CALL OF DUTY. He didn't believe that I had call of duty and played it so I had to prove it by answering a bunch of questions like what is a claymore and how many people are on a team on team death match. Pft, kids stuff. It's really nice to talk to him, in class and on msn but when i saw him in baggetee bar he ignores me. Brilliant spelling there Jem, This is supposed to say baguette bar. I was basically a big area where everyone hung out during break. There were a few vending machine's and this is where i got the cookies i previously raved about. It was kind of the only place in school that hadn't been claimed by another year group so we kind of made it our own if the weather was crap. I don't mean like ignore ignore but considering he's so friendly to me in class and we talk a lot on msn but when i actually see him and he's with the boys he pretends he doesn't know me.
Week 4. Geography class.
Geography was total poo. We had a sub for geography and she TOOK MY PHONE. The lesson hadn't even started and i was trying to put it away and i axidently pressed the walkman button on the side and it started playing its chico time. Luckily the woman at reception gave it back to me at the end of the day even though you're supposed to get your parents to come up, but she knows im never trouble so she just winked at me and gave it back so PHEW i dont have to tell mam. I don't know if I've told you before but in geography I sit next to J. He didn't chose to but me and A were the last two people there and there were only two seats left. Next to J, is L. Who talks to me in frount of his friends now. Call of duty comes out at midnight tonight and he asked me if i was going. J looked at me, and back at L, then back at me.
J- "you play call of duty?"
Me- "yeh, and yes I've preordered the new game"
L- "she really does, She's a lifer"
For those who don't know, the term 'lifer' was given to anyone that basically spend their entire life, on a game. The term made no sense at all but become part of our daily vocabulary.
J asked me loads of questions about my days played, what gun I use, what my favorite maps are. and we just talked, the three of us, for ages. Then later on when i went to red brick to get a rollover hotdog, J+L were there together and asked if they could cut in front of me in the queue. I let them , Obviously and L called me a legend. Maybe i am getting a bit more popular. I think it's helping that people are getting to know me. Deep down i could be popular i just don't look popular.
Spoiler alert. I never became popular. Maybe less socially awkward but never popular. This was really important to me at this age any form of social exception was a win. This one guy just spoke to me like a normal person. I didn't 'fancy him' but I could honestly call him a friend. Without L I feel like my school experience may have been a lot harder than it was. Don't get me wrong I ended up doing the kid a thousand favours through school so that he'd continue to 'like me'. I used to print out his homework. I used to leave early for school council meetings and save him a place in the queue after every welsh lesson for nearly a year, and once, he forgot him 'homework booklet' for french and I just flat out gave him mind so he didn't get in trouble. I knew that because I always remembered mine I'd be let of with a warning, not the detention he would have had.
So I guess school didn't totally suck. It always gets better.
Leave me a comment if you enjoyed.
- Its Jemma with a J.
So reading thought the selective pages I've chosen to publish i realised that i'd painted a pretty painful image of my life as a teen. It wasn't all bad. Some people were nice to me, and impacted on my school experience in ways they probably didn't even realise. There was one name that cropped up quite a lot when flicked through my second diary. So I thought i'd skip ahead for this post so you know it wasn't all bad. I didn't see this kid a lot. It was the odd class or passing in the halls. But he was 'popular' and nice to me. He didn't dare his friends to ask me out and then laugh when i said yes. He didn't ask me if i would 'sharpen his pencil' knowing full well I didn't know what it meant, and he didn't flick things into me hair without me knowing when he was sat behind me. He was just nice. I've stitched together a few different bit from a few different pages for the purpose of this post, because, like a said, we weren't 'friends' as such.
Week one. Moving seats.
Today was the best and worse day of my life. school was boring and unproductive as per ues (i think this is meant to be short for usual but i'm not really sure) but something did happen that i need to tell you about. So basically after break we went to class and two of the boys were talking the entire time so as punishment for them I had to sit between them to keep them quiet! WHYYY ME. I'm sure the teacher hates but but i've got no clue why. but yeh anyway obviously everyone laughed when we had to swap seats but L just sat there. When the teacher carried on he told me that she was a B****. (Yes i actually drew the stars, yes i was too scared to swear in my diary). L is one of the 'popular' boys and we've never really spoke before but i guess no we have to. His arms broken and after we'd been working for a while he took my pink hi lighter and started drawing over it. When i smiles and laughed he asked me if i wanted to sign it too. I FROZE. PLAY IT COOL. I don't know why this scared me so much but the thought of the other boys seeing my name on his cast just.. maybe they'd tease me? i don't know i just didn't want to, but i also didn't want to say no because i mean well. He's L? I'd always just assumed he was a twonk like the boys he hangs round with but now i think back he's never done anything to me, or even spoke to me. So yeh anyway he was just sat there holding a highlighter towards me with this dull glaze across his face. So i just wrote a really pretty J. That way nobody would even know it was me except him. Plus there wasn't much room on there anyway, probably because he's so popular. I think He's popular because he straightens his hair. Or at least that must help because all the popular girls straighten there hair? and most of the boys do to?
But yeh. Like I don't want this to sound like I fancy him, because I don't. It's just nice to know that not all the boys are idiots.
Week two. Core tasks and day dreams.
We started working on our core task today and I'm still sat next L. He never really pays attention when miss is talking because from our seats you can see the sports field and he spends all the time watching people play rounders. So when we had to get on with our work I basically had to tell him everything. But it's kind of nice because it actually gives me something to talk to him about. Im rubbish at making convocation otherwise. The only think I could think of to say was how neat his hand writing was its really girly and tiny but in a nice way. He took a tiny piece of paper and told me to write down my MSN address so i did but he hasn't added me yet. I hope he does. I bought new spray when i went to boots last week and it smells like strawberries. I went to the toilets before class and covered myself in it and the FIRST thing he said was that he could smell strawberries so i showed him my spray and he actually sprayed some on himself. He doesn't just talk to me because he's got to sit by me i think he actually doesn't mind.
Still week two. The MSN add.
IT happened. L added me on MSN. AHH. We have been talking all night about school and friends and CALL OF DUTY. He didn't believe that I had call of duty and played it so I had to prove it by answering a bunch of questions like what is a claymore and how many people are on a team on team death match. Pft, kids stuff. It's really nice to talk to him, in class and on msn but when i saw him in baggetee bar he ignores me. Brilliant spelling there Jem, This is supposed to say baguette bar. I was basically a big area where everyone hung out during break. There were a few vending machine's and this is where i got the cookies i previously raved about. It was kind of the only place in school that hadn't been claimed by another year group so we kind of made it our own if the weather was crap. I don't mean like ignore ignore but considering he's so friendly to me in class and we talk a lot on msn but when i actually see him and he's with the boys he pretends he doesn't know me.
Week 4. Geography class.
Geography was total poo. We had a sub for geography and she TOOK MY PHONE. The lesson hadn't even started and i was trying to put it away and i axidently pressed the walkman button on the side and it started playing its chico time. Luckily the woman at reception gave it back to me at the end of the day even though you're supposed to get your parents to come up, but she knows im never trouble so she just winked at me and gave it back so PHEW i dont have to tell mam. I don't know if I've told you before but in geography I sit next to J. He didn't chose to but me and A were the last two people there and there were only two seats left. Next to J, is L. Who talks to me in frount of his friends now. Call of duty comes out at midnight tonight and he asked me if i was going. J looked at me, and back at L, then back at me.
J- "you play call of duty?"
Me- "yeh, and yes I've preordered the new game"
L- "she really does, She's a lifer"
For those who don't know, the term 'lifer' was given to anyone that basically spend their entire life, on a game. The term made no sense at all but become part of our daily vocabulary.
J asked me loads of questions about my days played, what gun I use, what my favorite maps are. and we just talked, the three of us, for ages. Then later on when i went to red brick to get a rollover hotdog, J+L were there together and asked if they could cut in front of me in the queue. I let them , Obviously and L called me a legend. Maybe i am getting a bit more popular. I think it's helping that people are getting to know me. Deep down i could be popular i just don't look popular.
Spoiler alert. I never became popular. Maybe less socially awkward but never popular. This was really important to me at this age any form of social exception was a win. This one guy just spoke to me like a normal person. I didn't 'fancy him' but I could honestly call him a friend. Without L I feel like my school experience may have been a lot harder than it was. Don't get me wrong I ended up doing the kid a thousand favours through school so that he'd continue to 'like me'. I used to print out his homework. I used to leave early for school council meetings and save him a place in the queue after every welsh lesson for nearly a year, and once, he forgot him 'homework booklet' for french and I just flat out gave him mind so he didn't get in trouble. I knew that because I always remembered mine I'd be let of with a warning, not the detention he would have had.
So I guess school didn't totally suck. It always gets better.
Leave me a comment if you enjoyed.
- Its Jemma with a J.
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